Robot Monkey Pants

Our first day in Europe was a travel day, in the truest sense of the word.  It began with us waking up on July 2, looking at the news, and seeing United was canceling flights left and right because their check-in system at O’Hare was on the fritz.  United’s official line on it was to check-in online.  That’s all well and good, and I had indeed checked in online the previous night, but it doesn’t do me any good if they up and cancel the flight I was going to take.

Happily, the problems were sorted out by afternoon, and by the time we go to the airport for our 9:15 flight, things had returned to normal, thankfully.

We hopped on the plane, a nicely equipped 767 with fancy schmancy business class lay-flat seats (which we were fortunate enough to be flying), and after a short delay we were in the air.  The flight was nicely uneventful — I watched Watchmen, had dinner, then lay down to sleep.  Four hours later, we were beginning our descent into London.

Now, originally, our plan was to go from London to Dover (via train), hop a ferry to Calais, France, and spend the night, catching a train to Brugge the next morning.  Alas, Calais was looking kind of booked, so I got us booked into a hotel in Brugge (Boathotel De Barge — yes, it’s a boat).  But once I started working it all out, it was looking like we’d be frantically making our way to Brugge via train and ferry, and one missed connection meant a very late arrival.

Well, I’ve had enough of those types of things in my travels, and prefer to spend my vacations relaxing as much as possible.  So, I found us a flight from London to Brussels for a reasonable price on British Airways and booked that.  Upon our arrival at LHR, we simply made our way to Terminal 5, waited an hour, then boarded a very empty plane to Brussels.  Then, arriving at Brussels, it was an 80 minute train ride, with one quick transfer, and we were in Brugge, about a 10 minute walk from the hotel.

We enjoyed a nice, though large and expensive, meal at the hotel before retiring to our ‘cabin’.

A commercial for the new Prius came on TV, using an a capella cover of “Let Your Love Flow”.  I thought I’d see if it was something that was made especially for the ad, or if it was an existing cover they used. So, I fired up iTunes and searched. I learned two things.

1. I’m pretty sure the song in the commercial is one made especially for the ad.
2. I’ve discovered an entirely new context for “let your love flow”.

Sears Skydeck to install glass ledge.

Oh my, yes.

I must do this.

Until a USB port becomes a standard car accessory, behold the next best thing, the Belkin Micro Auto Charger.

Dear Cricket,

If you’re going to make your clever little catchphrase be “Respekt”

perhaps your jingle should not be a song wherein the chorus is spelling the word “Respect”.

R-E-S-P-E-K-T.  Find out what it means to me.

Saturday I was in a department store buying some clothes.  Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a tall, balding man in a salmon-colored tank top standing next to a rack of shirts, idly flipping through them.  I guess I have a proclivity toward noticing that sort of thing.  My eyes drawn inexorably to the scene, I watched him take a shirt off the rack, put it on, and proceed about the department looking like he was shopping for clothes.  No pretense of trying it for fit.  No looking in a mirror.  He was wearing this shirt because it was his now.

I was positively fascinated by the sheer brazenness of his action.  I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I don’t know if he ever actually noticed I was watching him, but he wouldn’t leave the area as long as I was there, going back and forth to different racks as long as I was still shopping.  I wandered over to the rack from whence he got his shirt, noted the empty hanger on it, then picked out a shirt of the same style he had taken, and made a show of holding it up as if I was checking it out for purchase, even comparing it to his shirt since he was at the adjacent rack.  I was tempted to ask him what he thought of the shirt; ask him how he found the fabric and if it was comfortable.  I was likewise tempted to take the empty hanger, walk over, and simply say, “Here, you forgot this.”

Instead, I left the department, returned a minute later and he was gone, empty hanger still hanging on the rack.  I didn’t do a thing about it.  Would you have?

Back when I worked retail — yes, I did my time at Radio Shack — I caught a shoplifter or two, usually teenagers.  In those cases, my goal was to prevent the loss of merchandise, not get someone arrested.  As a retail worker, I don’t have any power or authority to prevent someone from leaving the store, and I could, in fact, get in trouble if I did try to detain someone.  So instead I’d walk up behind them, say something clever like “You’ve either got a walkman from that shelf in your pocket, or you’re way too interested in resistors than anyone should be.”  The usual result of something like that is Drop It and Run.  Fine by me.

But I never had to confront someone who I couldn’t take on if it came to that.  And, since this wasn’t my store, I wasn’t about to start.  I suppose I could have reported him, but I doubt it was have helped since, as I mentioned, when I left the department he disappeared faster than a Fox News anchor’s credibility.

Maybe I’m assuming too much.  Maybe my tank top-wearing compadre simply wandered over to a cashier and produced the tag for the shirt he was wearing, saying “I’ll be wearing this out.”  Certainly, unless and until he left the store, he hadn’t actually done anything wrong.  Still, I found it amusing.

Kindle Readers Ignite Protest Over E-Book Prices | Gadget Lab from Wired.com.

I like my Kindle.  I’ve found the iPhone Kindle app to be quite useful, too.  I even got over the fact that if I want something on my Kindle that I already bought on paper, I’ll have to buy it again.

But I’m staunchly refusing to pay more than $9.99 for an e-book.  More accurately, I’ll only buy an e-book if I can buy it for less than a paper version.  I bought a Terry Pratchett book for $6.39, which is $1.60 less than the paperback version.  Were it priced at $9.99, I’d not have done so.

The thing that I dislike the most about Kindle books is that I can’t lend them out to people, nor can they lend them to me.  Opposed as I am to DRM, this is not surprising, but you can get around this and keep DRM intact.  It seems to me it would be trivial for me to ‘lend’ my copy of a book to someone, during which time said book is not available on my kindle — just like a paper book.

Who knows how long this will last?  It took awhile for labels and major sellers of music downloads to see the light, maybe the publishers will learn from their mistakes.  But, then again, while Apple may be DRM-free for music, video is still *heavily* encumbered.

I am sitting here, upon the umpteenth viewing of the Kutiman video project called Thru-You.  If you have not seen it, you must, but I’ll summarize it all the same.

This man has created musical and video compositions mixed together from various videos gathered on YouTube.  To be clear, he’s not mixing in video with existing music, he’s creating music and video by editing the video, using samples to match the pitch and sound he’s looking for.  He explains it here:

What’s particularly astounding here is not merely the quality of work he’s produced, but also the raw material from which it was created. The very existence of this new work required such a vast amount of flotsam, which YouTube is all-too-willing to provide. Without the widely present “I must be broadcast so everyone can appreciate me” mentality, this project could likely not have existed.  It’s recycling on an entirely different level.  I positively love it.

I love me a road trip.  Anyone who knows me well, knows this is an incontrovertible truth.  I’ve personally driven to each of the 10 Canadian provinces, some of them multiple times.  Get me in a car, get me a good traveling companion, and I’m set.  I’m quite lucky to have married an ideal traveling companion, and one who enjoys road trips as well.  And, on our third day in this short getaway, we road-tripped.

But before said road trip, we broke fast at a resort down the road from our condo.  That place was something to behold.  Let me give an example.  In Las Vegas, there’s this tram/monorail that’s handy from getting from resort to resort.  At this Hilton resort in Waikaloa beach, a tram takes you around the resort itself.  Or, if you so choose, you can ride a boat to get around as well.  They have a private lagoon, they’re right on the beach, have various watercraft available… it’s the prototypical beach resort.

I’ve never stayed at a place like that.  I considered it for this trip, but thought if the hotel was too nice we’d never get out and explore.  Where we’re staying, we’re in a condo.  It’s nice, but there’s nothing to do aside from watch TV or swim in the small pool.  So we’re motivated to get up, get dressed, and get out.  I’m happy with that.

After our breakfast, we hopped in the car to make our way around to the other side of the island to see an active volcano.  Now, a road trip is awesome; we’ve established that.  A road trip with the top down on a beautiful sunny day is amazing.  We drove around 100 miles, traveling from sea level up to 2500 feet, back to sea level at Hilo, then up to 3500 feet near Volcanoes National Park.  This island really does have many disparate climate zones.  At Waikaloa, it was around 79 and windy, yet around the north side of the island, up at 2500 feet,  it was less windy, but easily in the low 60s.  In Hilo it was warm again, though more humid, them back to cooler climes in the park.  And despite my sunburned scalp, I think it’s likely I’m going to have a convertible before the spring rolls around.

The vegetation changes so much on this drive.  Here at the beach, it’s pretty much a desert.  There’s savannah grasses, some mesquite trees (called Kiawe here), and lots and lots of lava rock.  Around the resorts there’s the typical palm trees, of course.

But go north and the brown grasses give way to lush hillsides full of green grasses and full trees.  Palm trees give way to Norfolk Island pines as you wind your way through the mountains.  Then, coming along the eastern side of the island, you descend and traverse these enormous gulches, crowded with dense green trees and peppered with beautiful waterfalls.

Hilo is obviously a population center, with a pretty drive along the harbor as you follow the highway through.  We didn’t spend any time there, since we’d be coming back through on our way back from the park, thus we drove straight on to Volacnoes National Park.

The road along the southern rim of the Kilauea caldera was closed due to air quality issues, but we got a great view of the activity from the Jaggar observation center north of it.  The enormity of it is breathtaking.  Alas, this was as close as I was going to get to real lava — your humble narrator, A.K.A. Gimpy McGee Von Urchin Foot, couldn’t make the hike out to where the lava is flowing outside the park.  But, I have an excuse to come back.  We did walk to the trail through the Thurston Lava tube — worth it for the entrance alone.

Upon leaving the park, we made our way back to Hilo.  Approaching the town, it lived up to its reputation as being rainy, which put the kibosh on the top-down driving, as well as any serious sight-seeing in town.  So we made our way back to the west side of the island, in time for a late dinner at Roy’s (which, apparently, has a location on State Street in Chicago).  After a lovely dinner, we adjourned to the condo, thus ending day 3.

This morning, I sit on our balcony for the last time on this trip, as our plan leaves tonight for a red-eye to San Francisco.  We’ll do a little exploring in Kona today, maybe take in the brewery tour at Kona Brewing, visit the Royal Kona coffee visitor center.

Hang loose!

I know I married the right person.  That was proven in many ways today, and I’ll be sure to point out these instances as they occur in this tale of our second day in Hawaii.

We start the day with the very first instance of how I know I married the right person, because my lovely wife suggested we do our lunch today at Kona Brewing Company.  Like I’m going to say no to that.

Today was a top down day — the sun was shining, the wind was still a bit high, but we were going to be at highway speeds, so with the top down and the tunes playing on the radio, we made our way south to Kona.

The Hawaii coast is a gorgeous drive.  At various points between Waikaloa and the Kona airport, you have this view where you can see weather patterns make their way down Mauna Loa toward the coast.  Somewhere, far from where we were, it was raining — where we were, the sun was shining.  We win.

Pulling into the Kona Brewing Company, the first thing you see are the giant conical fermenters.  When you see giant conical fermenters, beer is imminent.  We were seated in their nice outside seating area, their myriad umbrellas providing a near complete cover from the sun (and possibly rain).

Of course I went straight to the beer menu.  Their limited edition brews were their Pipeline Porter, and their Wailua Wheat. I went for the wheat, being in a mood for a good hot day beer.  It was different, with a definite fruity vein running through it.  It is made with passion fruit, but I don’t know what passion fruit tastes like.  So to me, it tasted like peach.  Tisha had the red ale, which was very nice, malty with a nice hit of hop bitterness at the end.  We also tried a sampler, featuring their porters (Pipeline Porter and Black Sand porter) and their two seasonal brews, both stouts (Dry Side Stout and a coffee stout, both served on nitrogen).  All delicious!  I finished with a nice glass of Hula Hefeweisen.  Okay, beer talk done.

They serve all types of food, but the specialty is pizza, and that’s where we went, ordering this wonderful concoction with all kinds of cheeses, including chevre and gorgonzola, and dotted with enough cloves of garlic to take out the casts of Twilight, Interview With a Vampire, and The Lost Boys.  (Did I hit enough decades in there?  Good.  Moving on.)  It was delicious!

After the leisurely pizza and beer extravaganza that was our Valentine’s Day lunch, we decided to take it easy and just drive around, exploring.  We drove around Kona a bit, and made our way to just south of Captain Cook before turning around and making our way back.  The plan was to hit the beach, do some swimming, then either grab a nice dinner at one of the restaurants around the resort, or if we couldn’t get a table, I’d whip up a glorious dinner at the condo.  Preliminary phone calls indicated the meal à la Craig was the more likely of the outcomes, since our free-wheeling vacationing style doesn’t lead to reservations made very far in advance.  And, apparently, Valentine’s Day is a popular day to eat out.

No worries, beach-ward we were bound!  The beach was practically deserted on our arrival, save for a wedding going on a few hundred feet down the shoreline.  So off we went into the ocean, my first swim in the Pacific Ocean.  The water was great, and so stunningly clear!

Shortly into the swim, I kicked into a sharp rock with my heel.  I shrugged it off and continued on my way.  It was stinging an awful lot, though, so I reached down and felt something sticking out of my heel.  So I presented my heel to Tisha to see if she could see anything (since it was too deep for me to stand up and examine it myself).  “Oh.” she said.  Hmm, that’s not good.  “You’ve got these spiky things sticking out of your heel.”  Great.  I paddled my way in to where I could support myself on my hands while Tisha removed the spikes, except part of the spikes stay behind.  Yup, I’d managed to dig my heel into a sea urchin, or “‘wana” as they call them here.

I wasn’t in too much pain, so we stayed in the water, happily swimming away.  Not ten minutes later, while I was making my way towards Tisha, I put my foot down to see if I could touch.  Can you guess what’s going to happen here?

I put my big toe (same foot) into another urchin.  This one with tinier spines, so when I stuck my toe up above water, it looked like it was going a porcupine impression.  Sigh.

Enough with the swimming, lest I manage to convert myself into some giant hairy hedgehog.  We made our way out of the water, rinsed off, and drove back to the condo.   After some research on the net to see what I should do, I found this, among other pages.  That sure looked like my heel, and it was mighty tender to walk on.

And this is how I know I married the right person, yet again.  Because instead of the romantic dinner I would whip up, my lovely wife drove to the grocery store to buy some foot-healing supplies and a deli sandwich for me (with some sushi for her), and spent the night helping me soak my foot and apply various ointments and other folk remedies.

And not a complaint.

She’s awesome, I tells ya!

Today, it’s off to see some volcanoes!  I’ll limp my way to lava one way or another!  Stay tuned, Staceketeers!