This post is entirely inconsequential. Not that most of them aren’t, but this one definitely is. It has spawned the new category of Minutiae, it is so unimportant.

I noticed something interesting with my car a while ago. The Jetta will lock the doors in the car when you travel faster than 10MPH. This is not that rare these days, though as an aside I’ve no idea why it does that — all one needs to do is pull the door handle and it will open as if it wasn’t locked. But, I digress. The important thing is that, when I come to a stop after driving, all the doors are locked. Now, if I don’t hit the unlock button, the doors will remain locked until they’re opened. The front doors open on the first pull of the handle, the back doors take two pulls, which is no doubt a child protection thingy.

Now, let me paint you a picture. I stop the car, open my door (all the others are still locked), walk around to the back and open the trunk using the remote. When I close the trunk, all the doors will lock. This behavior saved my ass once or twice when I’d forget to lock the car, but I saw a tremendous potential to be screwed by this.

Last weekend, while messing around with the settings on the car after all my preferences were wiped by the service center trying to fix another problem, I found an option to unlock the doors when I remove the key from the ignition. I thought it was a neat idea, since my rear seat passengers are often confused why the first handle-pull doesn’t open the door, so I enabled it.

Well, tonight, that move saved my ass. I parked in front of Poor Phil’s (I cannot recommend this place enough) walked around to the back of the car to retrieve my laptop from my bag in the trunk. I slid the car key into my coat pocket while fumbling with my stuff, and once I’d extracted everything I needed, I decided it was such a nice night I didn’t need my jacket. So I pulled it off and threw it in the trunk.

I had one of those moments. I’m sure it’s a Louis CK David Cross bit, but I’ll be damned if I can find it on the web right now; it’s the moment when you realize what you’re doing but it’s way too late to actually stop it. So you’re saying to yourself “What the fuck?! You’re locking your keys in the car!” as you’re actually doing that very thing. Well, I had one of those moments.

And as the lid came down, I expected to hear that familiar “click” as the doors came to their locked and “screw you, Stace” position. But they didn’t! I was saved!

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I walked to the driver’s door, opened it, hit the trunk release, and was happily on my way in moments.

Hooray!

Speaking of shaves, a couple of months back I decided to jump on the traditional wet-shaving bandwagon. I think I like it. It hasn’t become the self-pampering ritual it’s supposed to be, but I think I prefer it. We’ll see if it evolves into the man-ritual they say it will become. I’ve got a nice Murkur razor and blades. I’m still getting a handle on it all, but I’m certainly not getting any worse a shave I was getting with my five-bazillion blade razor. And it’s overall a cheaper thing to do after getting over the intital purchase hump.

[Edit: David Cross, not Louis CK.  Here's the bit:

Like, you lock your keys in your car but you do it in that way where you have enough time to process the information and actually say it like, "oh shit i'm locking my keys in --WHAT THE FUCK! I FUCKING KNEW I WAS DOING IT AND I DID IT... WHAT THE FUCK'S WRONG WITH ME!"

Thank you.]