Robot Monkey Pants

I write this on the plane, at the beginning of the 9.5 hour flight home.

The jailhotel, while sparse in its accomodations, was fine and comfortable. With a stellar breakfast buffet. Luzern was cloudy and rainy, so we just walked to the train station rather than spend time in a dreary place. The mountain views were concealed by the clouds and fog anyway.

Our last days in Europe were spent in Germany. After our train ride to Köln we checked into the wonderful Hotel Müller near the train station.

Firstly, upon leaving the station, you absolutely cannot help but notice the awe-inspiring cathedral. It is enormous and amazing. They light it up at night, which makes it seem even more impressive. It is, without question, a must-see.

That night we took a walk along the Johannesstrasse to Am Hof, ending at the Früh am Hof — three stories of beer houses. We ate in the boisterous basement, where I had 2 litres of the house beer, a Kölsch — quite yummy.

We spent the rest of the evening walking around a street market set up behind the cathedral. Quite festive as they’re all set up and decorated for Christmas.

We retired to our room for some of the most bizarre TV I’d ever seen. Some sort of call -in game show consisting of a woman in a skimpy bikini standing next to a whiteboard with 6 oversized 200 euro bills pasted on it, asking people to call in with the name of an automaker. If you guessed one of the six, you won. I’m not sure if you won 200 euros, or the “safe” amount, which throughout the show gradually increased, at one point reaching 1500. She seemed oddly desparate to get people to phone in, though it appeared to be the europe equivalent of a 900 number. You could SMS, but that maybe got you some sort of video of the bkini-wearing lady. Halfway through the show, the backdrop changed from a beach setting to a realtime extreme closeup of her chest. I cannot accurately describe how weird it was. At one point, she put a plastic lobster in her bikini. Maybe that will get across how bizarre it was. I wish I understood German.

The following day, we ate a fine breakfast at the hotel. Checked out and, after dropping our bags off at the very cool automated lockers in the train station, went off to explore Köln.

First up was the cathedral. It’s quite impressive inside as well. They have one of the oldest carved crucifixes, the oldest north of the Alps, from 976. Also, they have what are ostensibly the bones of the 3 wise men from the nativity story in the Shrine of the Magi. It’s a really impressive place to be. Well worth a visit.

Following that, we walked down their main pedestrian shopping drag, making our way over to the Rhine, and crossing to the Chocolate Museum. There you are treated to a history of chocolate, as well as a Lindt-run production facility, where you can watch chocolate being made into various treats, and enjoy a wafer dipped into a chocolate fountain.

Positively yummy.

After a light lunch back on the pedestrian mall, we walked back to the station and made our way to Düsseldorf. Our one and only stay in a chain hotel, we spent the night at the Holiday Inn by the airport — I wanted a place nearby and with a shuttle since our flight left in the morning.

And now, here I sit high above the Atlantic Ocean at the end of our very first off-the-continent trip. It was amazing. Every place we visited (The Netherlands, The UK, France, Switzerland, Germany) merits its own multi-week stay to explore in detail, plus there are many more areas we wish to see such as the south (Italy, Greece), Scandinavia, Eastern Europe including Russia… so much. This is just the beginning of many adventures.

Now, to battle jet lag again.

The included pictures are a package that amused me in Köln, and our plane.

(And a postscript pic — home, to winter in Chicago!)